I have talked about similar subjects before. I want to dig a little deeper this time. If you ask any single mom, do you believe in yourself?, her quick response will most always be yes. Even if it is not necessarily true.
I think many single moms have this idea that they have to be perfect. They are not allowed to make mistakes. Part of that thinking has to do with the way society tends to think about single moms. There seems to be a negative perception about what a single mother is.
I want you to get past that. Get past caring what those people are thinking and saying. Get past this idea that you are not allowed to make mistakes. Are you not human? Is it not true that nobody is perfect? So why do you feel that you need to be?
First thing you have to do is be honest with yourself. Take a good hard look at yourself and learn who you are. Over the years I have done this many times. Especially when I do something stupid. I talk to myself and ask why did I do that?
That is how you learn who you really are. Ask yourself tough questions and be completely honest with yourself. If you don’t like the answers then you know what you need to work on. The great thing about having a conversation with yourself is that it is truly a private conversation.
Figure out your motivation in everything you do. In order to improve yourself, you have to really know who you are right now. Not the person you show to everyone, but who you really and truly are.
Once you know who you are, then you can move forward to achieving your dreams!
Garbage In, Garbage Out
Don’t let the garbage into your mind. What you believe, you will achieve. If you accept when someone says you will never amount to anything, then you won’t. Don’t let it in!
What Is Your Purpose?
You need to know what you are living for. It’s hard to know where you’re going unless you know who you are – your truth. Create your life roadmap by first identifying and prioritizing your values. This will give you clarity to know what you need in life as opposed to what you simply want.
Train Your Belief System
Ask yourself questions, as I said earlier. These are called affirmations. “Why am I so confident? Why do I believe in myself? Why do I trust my intuition?” are empowering questions that focus your mind on why you are, in fact, confident. It has been said that it takes 30 days to change behavior. It is something you have to work at every day. Just like a body work out, you have to work out your brain.
You’re NOT The Only One
You may feel at times that you are alone and nobody knows what you’re going through. I promise you, you’re situation is not unique. With the internet, you can find all kinds of online communities which will provide you with moral support and advice.
Embrace The Word “NO”
I have been told no so many times. Now I look at that as a challenge. Sometimes we will ask for help in a situation before we are even sure that we will need help. Simply because if we were to get help it would be easier. Those are the times when it is great to hear the word no. No just makes me want to succeed even more. And No sometimes gives me that extra bit of determination I need to succeed.
You Don’t Have To Do It Alone
Get rid of anyone who is negative in your life. I learned many years ago that if you don’t compliment my life then you shouldn’t be in my life. Learn to lean on people who are willing to be there for you. Accept their comfort and friendship. And accept their compliments. Compliments are those external affirmations, you need those as well.
Never Give Up
Dr. King said, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” Have faith in yourself but also have faith in a higher power. Figure out what in life you can control as well as what you can’t control. Don’t worry about the things you can’t control.
Recognize the skills you have and the things you are good at. I bet there are many. You don’t have to be the best but I bet there are many things you are great at doing. Set small goals for yourself, they are easier to achieve and can bolster self-confidence. Don’t focus on your failures. I don’t even use the word failure. I feel like I just found out a new way to not do something.
Keep believing in yourself.